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4 kinds of sex 29.4.2008
There are four kinds of sex :
HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over
the house in every room.
BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you
only have sex in the bedroom.
HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many
years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK
YOU"
COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her ...
2 Kommentare, 71 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,2.42 Gesamtpunktzahl
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MARRIAGE 29.4.2008
1. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence!).
2. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music
is over, the strings are attached.
3. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage
is an institution for the blind.
4. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's
Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
5. ...
2 Kommentare, 41 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,3.81 Gesamtpunktzahl
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play me a tune.... 28.4.2008
A newly married sailor was informed by the Navy that he was
going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island
in the Pacific for a year. A few weeks after he got there he
began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter.
"My love, " he wrote, "we are going to
be apart for a very long time. Already I'm starting
to miss you and there's really not much to do here in
the ...
2 Kommentare, 54 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,3.81 Gesamtpunktzahl
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cant please em all.... 28.4.2008
A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor
condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the
railing. "Damn, that was stupid, " she thought
as she fell. "What a way to die." As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing
caught her in his arms. While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked,
"Do you suck?" "No!" she shrieked, aghast. So, he ...
2 Kommentare, 69 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,3.43 Gesamtpunktzahl
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another 40 years of marriage... 28.4.2008
An old couple were sitting on the porch one afternoon rocking
in their rocking chairs. All the sudden the old man reaches
over and slaps his wife.
She says, "Well what was that for?"
He says, "Thats for 40 years of rotten sex!"
She doesn't reply and they start rocking again.
All the sudden the old lady reaches up and slaps her husband.
He says, ...
2 Kommentare, 67 Angesehen,
1 Stimmen
,3.70 Gesamtpunktzahl
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devotion 28.4.2008
This woman's husband had been slipping in and out of
a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside
every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for
her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You
know what? You have been with me through all the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business
failed, you ...
2 Kommentare, 66 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,3.81 Gesamtpunktzahl
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unusual dreams... 28.4.2008
A wife woke up from her night's sleep and began recounting
her dream to her husband. "I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks in this place, "she
began, "the big ones went for a tenner and the thick
ones went for 20."
"How about the ones like mine?" asked her husband.
"Those they gave away, " she replied tongue
in cheek.
"I had a dream too, " started the husband. "I
dreamt they ...
3 Kommentare, 76 Angesehen,
4 Stimmen
,4.80 Gesamtpunktzahl
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marriage consuling.... 28.4.2008
After just a few years of marriage filled with constant
arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way
to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been
at each other's throats for some time and felt that
this was their last straw.
When they arrived at the counsellor's office, the
counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion.
"What seems to be the ...
2 Kommentare, 53 Angesehen,
1 Stimmen
,3.70 Gesamtpunktzahl
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40 years of marriage... 28.4.2008
A man and a woman were married for 40 years. When they first
got married the man said, "I am putting a box under
the bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all
their 40 years of marriage the woman never looked.
However on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity
got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside.
In the box were 3 empty beer bottles and ...
3 Kommentare, 227 Angesehen,
14 Stimmen
,2.18 Gesamtpunktzahl
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marriage 27.4.2008
marriage is not just a word........it's a sentence!
0 Kommentare, 18 Angesehen,
0 Stimmen
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marriage 27.4.2008
marriage is not just a word........it's a sentence!
0 Kommentare, 4 Angesehen,
0 Stimmen
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Flirt Lines To Get Her Attention ? 24.4.2008
I came across some lines on a site that some guys have apparently
used to flirt with women. Wonder how effective they were?
Do you know Karate? Because your body is kickin’.
You’re so hot, you’re making my beer warm.
If you were the new burger at McDonalds you would be the McGorgeous!
You better be careful. You’re sitting under a ...
0 Kommentare, 51 Angesehen,
7 Stimmen
,2.02 Gesamtpunktzahl
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you can be the man of your house... 19.4.2008
The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled,
'You Can Be THE Man Of Your House.'
He stormed out to his wife in the kitchen and announced,
'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this
house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight,
and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve
me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to ...
2 Kommentare, 187 Angesehen,
10 Stimmen
,3.78 Gesamtpunktzahl
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say what you mean... 19.4.2008
A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws
the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds,
then it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this
a few more times with no success. All the while, his wife
is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.
She opens the window and yells to her husband, "You ...
2 Kommentare, 73 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,4.41 Gesamtpunktzahl
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a poem 18.4.2008
A Woman's Poem
He didn't like the casserole And he didn't like my cake. He said my biscuits were too hard .. Not like his mother used to make. I didn't perk the coffee right He didn't like the stew, I didn't mend his socks The way his mother used to do. I pondered for an answer I was looking for a clue. Then I whirled and smacked him shitless ... Like his mother used to do.
2 Kommentare, 58 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,3.92 Gesamtpunktzahl
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The Final Pubic Hair 17.4.2008
You know when you're going down on a girl, normally
these days, most girls keep themselves pretty clean and
trimmed. Yeah there may be a patch here or there where it's
slightly rougher, but there's ALWAYS some part that
just somehow always gets missed.
It may be a small patch, it may be part of a design gone wrong,
but it's there. And in this patch, there's always
one stray hair that's ...
2 Kommentare, 318 Angesehen,
19 Stimmen
,3.78 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Cinderella 17.4.2008
What did Cinderella say after you got to the ball?
*Gack!* 
0 Kommentare, 74 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,1.96 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Wrap That Sausage 14.3.2008
Came across this amusing article. Staff at a German butcher's
shop were shocked to discover a customer had hidden two
sex toys in their sausages for transport to Dubai.
After shopping there earlier in the day, a man, who spoke
broken English, returned to the butcher's with two
large sausages.
"It was two latex dildos with a natural look, "
said a spokesman for police in the ...
1 Kommentare, 443 Angesehen,
15 Stimmen
,3.44 Gesamtpunktzahl
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What women really say & mean!!! 7.3.2008
CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS? -there is no way in hell I'm going to let any part of your
body touch any part of mine, again.
I JUST NEED SOME SPACE. -without u in it.
DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS? -We haven't had a fight in a while.
NO, PIZZA'S FINE. -you cheap slob!
I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW. -I just don't want you as a boyfriend now.
I DON'T KNOW, ...
5 Kommentare, 305 Angesehen,
23 Stimmen
,4.53 Gesamtpunktzahl
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worst date?? 5.3.2008
whats the worst date story you have??
1 Kommentare, 105 Angesehen,
5 Stimmen
,1.51 Gesamtpunktzahl
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The good husband ! 28.2.2008
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his
company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a
drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol
at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from
the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did
something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first
thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to ...
11 Kommentare, 297 Angesehen,
52 Stimmen
,4.72 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Safe condom removal. 24.2.2008
This is a story warning of the dangers of unsafe condom removal.
It's sure to bring a tear to the eyes of every man who
reads it.
When I was about 20, I met a girl called Jenny, and we started
dating. She was quite new to the world of sex, but she was
most enthusiastic. The first time we went all the way I used
a condom, something that she was fascinated with. She rolled
it onto me quite ...
5 Kommentare, 673 Angesehen,
15 Stimmen
,4.05 Gesamtpunktzahl
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funny stuff 17.2.2008
yes it is
0 Kommentare, 41 Angesehen,
1 Stimmen
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sex 3.2.2008
sex is like oxygen its only important if your not getting
any
0 Kommentare, 75 Angesehen,
5 Stimmen
,2.16 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Pet peeves 22.1.2008
What is the one thing that your partner does that irritates
you the most? Mine is commenting on my driving!
3 Kommentare, 104 Angesehen,
4 Stimmen
,1.69 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Married for 44 years ! 18.12.2007
After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look
at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap
car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white
TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old
gal. Now I have a $500, 000 house, $45, 000 car, nice big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping
with a 65-year-old woman. It ...
11 Kommentare, 404 Angesehen,
64 Stimmen
,5.26 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Double date hell 28.11.2007
Years ago I had a double date with a friend of mine, Joe, who
wanted to date a friend of a girl I had dated a couple of times.
I asked her if she would set up a date for us, she agreed thinking
it would be fun. I agreed to drive, picking up my buddy and
then the two girls. Since the other two barely knew each
other we talked for a few minutes before heading off to a
bar for a beer and a bite ...
3 Kommentare, 178 Angesehen,
7 Stimmen
,4.31 Gesamtpunktzahl
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F--k 8.11.2007
I was wrong Fuck. Well give me a minute, Fuck. Yea it wont
happen again, Fuck. want to talk about it, Fuck. I just want
a set of ears, Fuck. I didn't want your sympathy. All
I wanted was a friend Fuck. Ill dream of a new tomorrow and
you'll still be in fuck-in head why? Because I LOVE
YOU P.S Many more fucks to go....
2 Kommentare, 54 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,3.81 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Honey let me be your Salty Dog ! Part I 6.11.2007
This is a true story!
In July of 1984 and I was shacked up with a beautiful redheaded
ex-stripper and ex-car thief from Culpepper, Virginia
by the name of Julie in the small town of West, Tennessee
which was my hometown. Julie was 5ft. 2 inches tall with
medium length wavy dark red hair and a natural bust size
of 36 D that was way to big for her frame and she no doubt turned
heads ...
4 Kommentare, 145 Angesehen,
32 Stimmen
,1.55 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Honey let me be your Salty Dog ! Part II 6.11.2007
Anyways I got all cleaned up to go to this card game and
Julie is raising hell about me going out that early in the
day because she has a beauty appointment at 2:00 pm that
afternoon at a beauty shop that was 600 ft. away from my trailer
on the same side of the highway as the trailer park we lived
in was but this started an argument because of us only having
one car that day. My 76 Cougar was ...
5 Kommentare, 119 Angesehen,
31 Stimmen
,1.71 Gesamtpunktzahl
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