|
vibrator 20.1.2009
we were having
a party one night with a group of friends. we kept hearing
this weird humming sound coming from my room. we went
to go investigate and to my horror one of our friends
apparently went into our room into my nightstand and got
out one of my vibrators. they were all sitting around on
the floor with it turned on watching it vibrate across the ...
3 Kommentare, 277 Angesehen,
9 Stimmen
,2.57 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
a slip of the tongue 24.12.2008
A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh
and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the
guy next to him has a black eye, too.
He says to him, "Hey, this is a coincidence, we both
have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?"
The other guy says, "Well, it just happened, it was
a tongue twister accident.
See, I was at the ticket ...
1 Kommentare, 229 Angesehen,
13 Stimmen
,1.97 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
always get a second opinion... 24.12.2008
A doctor and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast
table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you
are no good in bed either, " and storms out of the house.
After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make
amends and calls home.
She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated
husband says, "What took you so long to answer the
phone?"
She says, "I ...
2 Kommentare, 201 Angesehen,
6 Stimmen
,2.51 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
40th anniversary 24.12.2008
On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet
celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief
account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.
"Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from
all those wonderful years with your wife?"
Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage
is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, ...
2 Kommentare, 139 Angesehen,
4 Stimmen
,2.47 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
memory class 24.12.2008
An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories,
so they decided to take a power memory class where one is
taught to remember things by association.
A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking
with his neighbor about how much the class helped him.
"What was the name of the Instructor?" asked
the neighbor.
"Oh, ummmm, let's see, " the old man ...
1 Kommentare, 95 Angesehen,
4 Stimmen
,1.69 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
Guilty or not? 23.12.2008
I accidentally slept with my sister's friend. I was
all alone at home watching porn when she came over looking
for my sis. When i went to the kitchen to make a drink for her,
she switch back on the TV and saw PORN! She kept it cool so
we watch it together. I got so horny that we started touching.
One thing lead to another and we ended making out in the living
room. Is it wrong to do your sister's ...
8 Kommentare, 284 Angesehen,
8 Stimmen
,1.16 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
4 sons 9.12.2008
A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that
the older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall,
while the youngest had black hair, dark eyes, and was
short.
The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed
when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before
I die, be totally honest with me - is our youngest my ?"
The wife replied, "I swear on ...
2 Kommentare, 202 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
|
|
the phone call 9.12.2008
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
When a cell phone on a bench rings, a man engages the hands-free
speaker function and begins to talk....
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: I am at the mall and found a beautiful leather coat.
It's $1, 000. Can I buy it?"
MAN: "OK, go ahead if you ...
4 Kommentare, 159 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,0.49 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
100 camels 9.12.2008
As US tourists in Israel, Morris and his wife were sitting
outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow
tourists.
An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts.
After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he
asked where they were from.
"America, " Morris replied.
Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded.
"She's not from the ...
0 Kommentare, 86 Angesehen,
0 Stimmen
|
|
The Dear John Revenge 6.12.2008
A Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there
he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter
she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had
been gone and she wanted to break up with him. AND, she wanted
pictures of herself back.
So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do.
He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted
photos of ...
2 Kommentare, 233 Angesehen,
17 Stimmen
,7.37 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
gone fishin' 6.12.2008
Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge.
One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across
the bridge.
He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head.
The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his
cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.
The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't
know you had it in you." ...
0 Kommentare, 111 Angesehen,
6 Stimmen
,3.65 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
home late 4.12.2008
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one
turns to the other and says,
"You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever
I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights
off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and
coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into
the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom.
I ...
0 Kommentare, 108 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,1.73 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
every saturday morning.... 2.12.2008
Every Saturday morning he has an early tee time. He gets
up early and eager, golfs all day long, sometimes 36 holes.
Well, one Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly,
gets his clubs out of the closet and goes to his car to drive
to the course.
Coming out of his garage rain is pouring down; torrential
downpour.
There is snow mixed in with the rain, and the ...
1 Kommentare, 109 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,3.43 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
LOL....at the end of his rope......... 2.12.2008
One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married.
He was a man of the world. She was an innocent bride with no
experience.
After the wedding they left for their honeymoon. While
driving down the road, the new bride sees two cows having
sex.
The new bride asks, "What are them cows up to honey?"
The husband, a bit flustered, answers, "Why can't
you see? Them ...
1 Kommentare, 112 Angesehen,
4 Stimmen
,3.63 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
LOL(this was cute) 2.12.2008
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home.
They are about to kiss each other goodnight, but the guy
is feeling a little horny.
With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against
the wall and, smiling, he says to her "Darling, would
you give me a blow job?"
Horrified, she replies "Are you mad? My parents will
see us!"
Him: "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us ...
1 Kommentare, 114 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,1.04 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
the birthday present 2.12.2008
A young man wished to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's
birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after
careful consideration he decided a pair of gloves would
strike the right note - romantic, but not too personal.
Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister,
he bought a pair of white gloves; the younger sister purchased
a pair of panties for herself.
...
1 Kommentare, 67 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,1.04 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
newlyweds 2.12.2008
A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where
they were spending the first night of their honeymoon.
They opened the champagne and began undressing.
When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked,
"Ewww - what's wrong with your feet? Your toes
look all mangled and weird. Why are your feet so gross?"
"I had tolio as a , " he answered.
"You mean ...
1 Kommentare, 103 Angesehen,
5 Stimmen
,1.51 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
applying for social security 28.11.2008
A retired gentleman went to the social security office
to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's
license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized
he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was
very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home.
"I will have to go home and come back later."
The woman says, ...
2 Kommentare, 110 Angesehen,
8 Stimmen
,3.94 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
the newlyweds 28.11.2008
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and
after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what
time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you.
I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you
that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting,
fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old
buddies and ...
0 Kommentare, 73 Angesehen,
9 Stimmen
,2.78 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
a better ofer 28.11.2008
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the
pastor with an unusual offer:
"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change
the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm
supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey'
and 'be faithful to her forever, ' I'd appreciate
it if you'd just leave that out."
He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. ...
0 Kommentare, 80 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,1.96 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
Useless Toy 28.11.2008
Okay, so a while back, I was dating
this older man...14 years older than me. I met him off the
net. He was from Louisiana and really hot. He would come
visit me every other weekend. He had a big dick, and the first
time we had sex, it was so romantic, but it felt like I was
losing my virginity again. Eventually, I got used to it.
Before we broke up, he took me to a sex shop ...
5 Kommentare, 206 Angesehen,
8 Stimmen
,3.71 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
anniversaries//// 28.11.2008
0in 6 seconds to 200
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary.
His wife was really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a
gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER
BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his
wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there ...
0 Kommentare, 78 Angesehen,
1 Stimmen
,5.00 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
ROFLMAO ! 21.11.2008
Two old people, a man and a woman, walk into a hospital.
The doctor says to the old man, "I'll need a urine
sample, a feces sample, and a blood sample."
The old man says, "What?" So the doctor says
it again. Once again the old man says, "what?"
So the doctor yells it, "I NEED A URINE SAMPLE, A FECES
SAMPLE, AND A BLOOD SAMPLE!"
With that the old woman turns to the ...
9 Kommentare, 215 Angesehen,
59 Stimmen
|
|
Tips For Sex 27.10.2008
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
Sex between 2 people is a beautiful thing; between 5 it's fantastic.
Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful
- provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the ...
0 Kommentare, 95 Angesehen,
6 Stimmen
,4.50 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
let me tell it out 24.10.2008
On their first night to be together, the newlywed couple
go to get changed. The new bride comes out of the bathroom,
all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud
husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can
open your robe."
The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished.
"Oh, oh, aaaahhh, " he exclaims, "My
word, you are so beautiful, let me take your ...
0 Kommentare, 112 Angesehen,
6 Stimmen
,2.51 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
Scammed 17.10.2008
Met a women online and invited her out for dinner and a night
out on the town. She was a very attractive women around my
age and we seemed to be hitting it off.
After dinner we hit some night spots and I was thinking that
I was going to get lucky the first night, not that it was important
because I really wanted to see this lady again.
Well as the night came to a close and we ...
2 Kommentare, 160 Angesehen,
6 Stimmen
,2.51 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
haha 9.10.2008
pussy lol lol ...
15 Kommentare, 199 Angesehen,
47 Stimmen
,2.17 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
hmmmmmmm.... 28.9.2008
A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo. They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas
cage, when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets
as an invitation. He grabs her yanks her over the fence and
takes her to his nest in the pen. There he ravishhes her and makes passionate love to her
for about 2 hours till he is tranquilized, and the lady taken
to hospital. ...
0 Kommentare, 187 Angesehen,
5 Stimmen
,5.75 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
OMG! 26.9.2008
Wife comes home to find the old man shagging the in the
front room. "My God Henry", she screams, "I know you've
had other woman but this time you've gone too far!"
"You may be right" he says, "I think I'm
stuck."
1 Kommentare, 220 Angesehen,
5 Stimmen
,2.82 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
Possible factor loosing your man... 22.9.2008
While I recall your acticle replied that you was totally
lost your man, .. Well , sex do a vital which nobody can denied
that , yes & no , only the time when both needed it .. another
factor was also your daily interaction ...how to get along
with each other... that is the most challenges thing to
stay for long... imaging two person grown up from a different
environment & background to be ...
2 Kommentare, 83 Angesehen,
6 Stimmen
,0.52 Gesamtpunktzahl
|
|
